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Tuesday, April 24, 2012

FLASH: Anna Hazare as the President of India!!!


Pawar bats for Anna as Prez!
Baramati, Apr 23rd: In a surprise development, Sharad Pawar has suggested that the next Presidential candidate should be a non-political candidate acceptable to all, on the side lines of a meeting here. Expanding further, he said, "I would even think Anna Hazare should be acceptable to us", he said. He was attending a meeting organized by CII, Baramati  to facilitate the Cricketer of the Year, Mr. Pawar was delivering the acceptance speech after being given the award for each year for the last one decade. It is a known fact that Mr. Pawar is not a big fan of Anna Hazare, but, currently in a benevolent retirement mood, according to close aides here, Mr. Pawar felt that Anna in Delhi is better than Anna in Maharashtra.

SP too will favour Anna!
Lucknow: Reacting to this, Mr. Mulayam Singh Yadav said that he agreed to this as Anna was a very respected person and had a clean image. Expanding further, in Lucknow, while waiting to meet with the new UP Chief Minister and his son, Akhilesh Yadav, Mr. Yadav senior mentioned that his party would support anyone who had a clean image and definitely Anna scored over Former President, Abdul Kalaam, whom Samajwadi Party had mistakenly assumed as being responsible for all scientific development in India until Akilesh learnt to use the Google search engine and found out otherwise.

Didi's latest ultimatum!
Kolkotta, 23rd April: Mamta fired her latest salvo on the UPA by saying that the Presidential candidate has to be decided only by consensus and the arbitrary ways of the UPA should come to an end forthwith. She suggested that a clean political figure with no knowledge of Marx and Engels be the preferred candidate. When reporters quizzed her about the possibility of Anna Hazare, she said she remembered that Anna was not known to be much educated; she wouldn't object to his candidature. However, she was quick to clarify that she will oppose Anna if it was found that this was an unanimous choice of the UPA. Her weekly ultimatum to UPA has been updated with the Presidential candidate debate this week, she added.

Team Anna divided over Anna's candidature for President!

Arvind Kejariwal said, "it is my personal opinion that Anna should not be compromised by accepting the post of  President. Prashant Bushan however seemed to be upbeat about the idea and said, "now we can ensure that the Lokpal Bill can be definitely enacted. however, we will discuss the pros and cons in the team meeting and then make an announcement". Kiran Bedi said that, "the victory of Anna is complete if the elected leaders vote to have him as the first citizen of the country, something Anna has already been since more than a year", before giving out a screech and jumping into the waiting hands of the followers who were right behind her with one hand stretched (while they 'like-ed her statement on Facebook with the other hand) to hold her whenever she jumped!

Meanwhile, the India Against Corruption website bore a brand new look with visitors being asked to leave a missed call in a phone no. if they wanted Anna to be the next President.

Amma could forgive Anna and help his candidature too!

Chennai, Apr 23rd: In a move to stump the major opponent Karunanidhi, Tamilnadu CM, Jayalalitha in a hurriedly called press meet,  announced that she forgives Anna Hazare for not calling on her during his visit to Chennai in 2011 after his fast in Delhi. She said that, "though North Indians are not known for their adherence to protocols, South Indians, particularly, Tamilians are known for their benevolence." She said that she definitely will order her party to vote for Anna Hazare as he had challenged the UPA government and had particularly said not very nice things about the Karunanidhi company. She earlier welcomed the gathering and introduced the speaker (herself) and also gave the vote of thanks to herself in the end. 
Meanwhile posters appeared in Chennai hailing Amma for empowering Anna.

Karunanidhi will not be the President!
Chennai, 23rd April: In a strange statement, Karunanidhi  said he will not be a candidate for the Presidentship of India. He spoke to media personnel who had gathered in his safe hideout at Aminjikkarai on the outskirts of the city this afternoon. Having moved out of all his official residences and offices for fear of being besieged by one relative or another.

During the press conference he refused to take any questions on his family members and instead focussed on the upcoming Presidential elections as there are no known candidates from his family in fray! He rubbished reports (which our staff reporter and no other media personnel was aware of) of his name being proposed for the post in the Raisana Hill! He said that such a question doesn't arise as he was dedicated to work for the welfare of the Tamils in Tamilnadu and elsewhere.To this end, he recounted a statement he first made in 1952 and,  since reiterated, in 65,72,79,83,92,99,2001,05,09 and 2011. He also suggested that it would be immodest for some one who has been a CM five times and also a candidate for the Bharat Ratna (this he said is an unconfirmed news he has got). 

Subramaniam Swamy says, 'Anna for President' is an American Conspiracy! He has proof of this which he will release at an appropriate time!!
Dr. Swamy caught the media personnel who have ignored him in recent times by appearing in the Press Club canteen during the busy lunch hour and sitting by the cash counter issuing his press statement along with free food tokens. He claimed that Anna was a stooge of Americans and he had enough evidence to prove it. He queried if anyone knew why Anna didn't participate in the second world war for the allied forces when he was in the army?

Digvijay wants Anna Hazare as President, for Pakistan!
Ajmer: In an apparent reference to the news of Anna Hazare being a possible candidate for the President post, the unofficial spokesperson of the Congress, Digvijay Singh, said that he thought Anna Hazare was a fit enough and stable Presidential candidate for Pakistan! Further elaborating on this he said, "Pakistan doesn't have anyone even half as stable as Anna", and challenged Anna saying, "if he is secular as he claims to be, he should announce his nomination for the upcoming Pakistan presidential elections!", knowing that he has scored two points (killed two birds) with a single statement. He later assured that he bore no-ill will towards people of Pakistan and his statement should not be quoted out of context.

Manmohan Singh goes silent on Anna!
PM Manmohan Singh slipped into another level of silence this evening as he decided to observe silence when queried about Anna as a possible presidential candidate. The PMs tweets for the day had the same old interesting information including meeting with a visiting African dictator's grandson for selecting boarding schools in Ooty and inaugurating yet another public convenience through remote control in the rural parts of his adopted state of Assam.

Anna wants a village hut, cattle shed and langar in Viceroy Palace
Ralegan Siddhi: Veteran Gandhian and the possible Presidential candidate Anna Hazare today denied that he was in the race for the Presidential post. Speaking to media persons in his village, Ralegan Siddhi, in the middle of the Hanuman Jayanthi festivities there, he said that the Rastrapathi Bhavan was originally built by the British for the Viceroy and it was not proper for Indians to continue to have their President live there, he said that he had always protested against it and even once sat on a hunger fast against it when Faqruddin Ali Ahmed was the President of India- though he had forgotten the year. When an enthusiastic villager pressed him further and asked what will he do if he became the President, Anna quipped that he would have mud hut constructed in the front lawns for himself and convert the remaining part into a large cattle shed; he said as the Sikhs were dominant in Delhi, he wouldn't mind leasing out the kitchen of the Rashtrapathi Bhavan to one of the Gurudwaras for their langar, this would also ensure that whenever he chose to eat (which was not much when he was in Delhi, he laughed), he can always have the langar prasad!!

Experts Comment 
Noted Social Scientist Shiv Vishwanath felt that the metaphor of Anna was more important than Anna as President and shibboleths of satyagraha were worse than demogugues of Democracy and wondered if Democracy ate such a humble pie as Anna has inferred. 


1 comment:

Rahul said...

Last time Anna movement was a huge success due to media and this time the same media is behind making it less effective..I think congress has bribed the media for same

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